and i looked at the stars above, and they looked into me, and i wish that i could know, just what it is that they could see

i am just sick.... AND tired.... of my brokeness! of mine being broken in general, its driving me mad. what has changed from last year to this year? i use to be somewaht normal last year, but im different now and its freaking annoying! i need to be the way i use to be, things made bloody sense back then. i need to go to the basics, i need to be what i was. you cant understand who much frustration this has caused me. geh, this isnt suppose to make any sense to any readers, if you think you know what im talking about, let me assure you, you dont get it, i promise. anyways, im going to find some other means of distracting myself now... whoa, awesome quesion, what am i distracting myself from? no joke, im really afriad to evaluate it and figure out. so being the new and very unimproved way that i am. i wont.

-ashley (first step?)

"call the doctor
call the nurse
bobbie's ill
and getting worse"