this is shleebobs, singing back on! *cue short jingle type thing*

music is good

i like these short nothing posts

"because of you i never stray to far from the sidewalk,
because of you i learned to play on the safe side so i wont get hurt.
becasue of you, i cant trust not only me, but everyone around me.
because of you i cant let anyone else in
because of you i am afraid" (< prolly not exact, lyrics are from memory, and i just started listening to this song)

this is shleebobs, signing off *cue national anthem*

no insight into my fun-filled life today... its time para dormir...

my stupid name betrays me...

night all

i lied to a couple of ppl.... just thought id confess.

we all played the game and we dared to cheat ourselves at solitare

i hate this song, but at the same time i love it... i guess its b/c you cant help it. everyone feels some sorta emotional attachment to themselves.


"I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT SEVENTEEN
THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY QUEENS
AND HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WITH CLEAR SKINNED SMILES
WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN RETIRED
THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW
THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF YOUTH
WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL
AT SEVENTEEN I LEARNED THE TRUTH

AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED FACES
LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES
DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME
INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE
WHO CALLED TO SAY - COME DANCE WITH ME
AND MURMURED VAGUE OBSCENITIES
IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS AT SEVENTEEN

A BROWN EYED GIRL IN HAND ME DOWNS
WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD PRONOUNCE
SAID - PITY PLEASE THE ONES WHO SERVE
THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE
THE RICH RELATIONED HOMETOWN QUEEN
MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS
WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY
AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY

SO REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE GAME
LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT TO GAIN
IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY
THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL GAPE AT YOU
IN DULL SURPRISE WHEN PAYMENT DUE
EXCEEDS ACCOUNTS RECEIVED AT SEVENTEEN

(INSTRUMENTAL)

TO THOSE OF US WHO KNEW THE PAIN
OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER CAME
AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE NEVER CALLED
WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR BASKETBALL
IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY
THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN TODAY
WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE FOR FREE
TO UGLY DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE ME

WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN WE DARE
WE CHEAT OURSELVES AT SOLITAIRE
INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE
REPENTING OTHER LIVES UNKNOWN
THAT CALL AND SAY - COME ON, DANCE WITH ME
AND MURMUR VAGUE OBSCENITIES
AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT SEVENTEEN" -Janis Ian

quoteoftheday~"i learned at 16." (three tries to guess who said the quote, the first two dont count....)

personality flaw i suppose

i dunno what to label this as, so i will merely call it a personality flaw... people mean more to me than i do them, and it is a very terrible thing. you cross someones path for a short period of time, and normal people move on and replace those people with new ones. but for some reason i cant quite do that. i have a hard time forgetting, and years and years later when there isnt even a ghost of a memory that could remind a person of myself, i will still wonder what they're up to. it really is an awful thing.

-ashley

"and those who dare to cheat at solitare..."- at seventeen

and i looked at the stars above, and they looked into me, and i wish that i could know, just what it is that they could see

i am just sick.... AND tired.... of my brokeness! of mine being broken in general, its driving me mad. what has changed from last year to this year? i use to be somewaht normal last year, but im different now and its freaking annoying! i need to be the way i use to be, things made bloody sense back then. i need to go to the basics, i need to be what i was. you cant understand who much frustration this has caused me. geh, this isnt suppose to make any sense to any readers, if you think you know what im talking about, let me assure you, you dont get it, i promise. anyways, im going to find some other means of distracting myself now... whoa, awesome quesion, what am i distracting myself from? no joke, im really afriad to evaluate it and figure out. so being the new and very unimproved way that i am. i wont.

-ashley (first step?)

"call the doctor
call the nurse
bobbie's ill
and getting worse"

woohoo for ...

okay, okay, im freaking out... a little too much... i am i such a loser?!? nobody else would be all worked up over something so little... goodness, im i keep finding things to distract myself with. i just went outside in my backyard, or lack there of, and i saw this tumble weed in teh pool, and i was like, ahhhh i need to get that tumble weed out! it was really importnat, but i dont know why. its not like anyone was gonna come over and start staring at my pool, but yeah i wanted it out, really, really bad. but i couldnt find the little pool scooper outer thing-a-ma-bob, so after five minutes of searching i settled, for the pool (whoa i just tried to spell pool "pule" man my nerves are shot...) but yeah i got the tumble weed out, HOORAY! pkay not that big of an accomplishment.... just another stalling method, why is 8 coming so fast? i was gonna start working at 5, its six now.. ive done everything i can to stall, i even helped jenny make a myspace, something i was thoroughly against until oh and hour ago when i was not doing any work. and then came the tumble weed thing, and now im here.... okay im gonna stop not doing stuff and accept that 8 oclock is comming... okay ima gonna go... right now....


quoteoftheday~"nothing comes to mind" - me, thought of that like two seconds ago....

titles are overrated, except in this case where one would be cool, but i cant think of anything... :-)

OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN! *DROWNING NOISE* GASP! GOOD GOLLY AND GREYHOUND BATMMAN! BLOOOODY HELL! TROI OI! GAAHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHH! THIS IS FREAKY AS S-I-N! W()()T! WHOA! GOODNESS! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WOOHOO! HOLY SARDINES BATMAN! DOUBLE GASP!

*smiles*
and any other crazy things that i usually say to help you better understand my present state of being... its weird, two years ago i NEVER woulda guessed that i would be writing something like this! damn my blood pressure and its insistance on spiking.... im sure everyone but annie is confused by this post, and that my firend is b/c asians are GENIUSES ;-). and this reminds me, annie, DO NOT TELL ANYONE (ie, your whitewashed asian brother, if you catch my drift...) ABOUT MY BLOG, AND I REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT! DONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING FROM IT EITHER! and thank you for all your help tonite, lol sorry for causing you frustration! :-D alrighty, now that im sure ive caused any readers tons of frustration by beign evasive, i think i'll get off now...

nighty, night all!

quotesoftheday~"it was like electricity"
"youve been yellow washed"

asdfkjl;asdfjkl;asdfjkl;

random thought going through my mind

ahh! So many cUts!
hahahhaahha long arms
Verticle
so i lAugh and smile, SMIIIIILE
geh
eeew, i doNt want More xrAys
my foot is cold
sneaKers makE me look tall
...yellow washed...
double eew, fertilized duck eggS, for DINNER
evil gato
laMps
hallowEen
my attempt is failing i would do best to ceaSe
who Left me that last annoymous comment?
leftIes who write like riGHTs are cooLL... wait reverse that (DysLEXIA)
Alrighty, i think im Done

quoteoftheday~"whoa... i dont have any quotes for the day... que broken"

*teeth chatter*

so i did go out at about 11:50 and listen to wonder, i didnt really feel in the mood, i was sullen, empty feeling, and overall unhappy. but i did anyways because today was fall, and i cant get around that no matter how much it disapointing me that it's not bringing me the happiness that i so desperately crave. this wasnt how i wanted fall to be at all. i had so many more expectations and now i feel as though i am being let down. but at the same time, in way that i am at a loss to explain, i am humored, or dare i say it, happy, by this development. everyone complains about how they're not happy and how they wish they were, but no one ever gives unhappiness its credit. where would you be without it? miserable, i gaurantee it. if we were all happy all the time, happiness wouldnt exist, we'd be in a perpetual state of amity, and frankly, all of that amity would become impossible to live with. so in an odd way i am greatful for my present state of being, no matter how many ill feelings it brings me.

but more importantly the actaul coming of fall was tonite when i listened to duncan sheik on the bench in front of my house, not on september 21 or something like the calendars say. so for all of you who do not share my fedish and were not experiencing the actaul coming of fall, i'll let you know what you missed

i snuck outside really, really quietly b/c i knew my mom was still up and i didn't want her asking why it was absolutely crucial that i go outside and listen to my walkman for 5 minutes. so i got outside and i walked around for a second. i admired the ghost i made today with a bowtie, and i walked around the street, and i looked up at the sky and was pleased to find it still cloudy. it wasn't as cold as it usually is when i decide that it's fall, but that was alright. so i went back to the bench in front of my house, i looked for a second to make sure i wouldn't sit on a bug or something then made myself resonably comfortable. so i played wonder, the lyrics of which i won't share b/c i don't wanna find them on the internet (though i know them by heart, but that's too much typing) and i think i've posted them before. i love that song, and i don't think that i'll ever be able to explain why, but there's something about it. in a way that brings me a lot of comfort, i know that it will be one of those constant things in life. i will never stop loving that song, 60 years from now i will insist on hearing it during fall, even if i can't quite make the trip out to my front yard. so i listened, and my teeth began to chatter, despite the lack of cold, however it didn't surprise me. my teeth always chatter whenever i feel like that. so i listened and i began to look at the sky again, and through one of the openings in that little area infront of my door i could see just one star. on any other night i wouldnt notice it apart from the other stars, but tonite it was completely alone. but alone is not the word i want to use there, alone carries connotations of sadness, but this star wasnt sad at all. when i first saw it, it was framed by the clouds, and it looked very pretty indeed. as i watched, clouds would move over it, and it would disapear, and i would be slightly disheartened, but then it would come back again. i watched the star until the song ended. i looked up one last time, hoping that it would be there so i could see it one last time before i went to sleep, but it was hiding behind those clouds. and at first this saddened me. later though, the more i thought about it the happier i am that it wasn't there. i began to think symbolically for a minute, why you might ask, b/c it was about 11:54 and i was sad, happy, and listening to a guy that most ppl have never heard of. anyways, i began to wonder if i had to call the star anything whether i would call it happiness or unhappiness... the more i thought about it the more i realized that it should matter to me, and with that the more i realized that it doesn't and i am happy with that.

"tell me all your wildest dreams
don't really care you don't know what they mean
raiding the closets skeleton (scattertan) keys
you know its easier than you think"

geh

woohooo my blog is working again. i dunno how, but its working again, so thats nice. anyways today woulda been super cool, it was cloudy and i put up halloween decorations.. so this would be the perfect time to celebrate fall with "wonder" at like three int eh mronging (especially since i dont have to go to school tomorrow) but thanks to loser yahoo and its ability to search i am no longer happy (even though i should have been and was UBER happy all day) and feel not in the mood to celebrate the comming of fall

geh (<--- is the new "meh" i never liked meh that much, so i changed it to "geh")

andyways es todo



question, am i the only person in exisitence that gets sick feeling any time there upset/angered?

soy alegre! (for some reason incorrect grammar is funny)

alrighty, im in an incredibly happy mood for no reason! woohoo! anyways, news... went to nau, had an...er... interesting time, to say the least. came home, my brother was an idiot and got about a quarter size piece of flesh taken off and might have fractured his elbow, but the doctor is optomistic and thinks it might just be a sprain... i have been a total myspace zombie lately *makes drowning noise* and redid my whole profile and added new pics, so go check it out... sarah, i made you a myspace and i made it MAD good. so go check it out... what you need to do it go to myspace.com, then where it says sign in (or something along those lines) put your email address, and the password you made. if you wanna check out my myspace click on the little box toward the bottom of your page that has a picture of me singing and says "shleebobs"... it will take you to my mypsace... if you wanna comment on my page, go to where you see all of the other peoples comments, scroll all the way down to the end of the page on the right side there will be something saying Add Comment, click that and you can talk to me! or if you wanna tell me something that you dont want other ppl reading go to the top of the page and under my pictuer there will be a box that says "contacting shlee" with options like "send message" "add to friends" "instant message" and what not, click the "send message" and then your message will be sent directly to me, so no one else can read it. if you have quesitons, call me, emial me, or just leave a comment off here... love you bum! hmmm, now i should go do homework, but im still debating the issue...

quotesoftheday~"If it aint dutch, it aint much"-dutch club (woohoo, for little wooden shoes that have lilly pads on them!)
"got rice?"- asian possey (for my fellow asians, be sure to use the little green pill noracyclin to combat the terrible head/neck trauma disorder, annisyndrom!)

Es todo, les amo!

ps.
I SAW SEVERAL ORANGE AND RED LEAVES!!!!

nau, baby!

living it up in breezy, fall like nau, PuTAS!
okay, i take it back your not putas... but im still in super cool flagstaff!!!! :D

quoteoftheday~"i like eggs, i like eggs, and they like me too, yes they like me too!"

"im sick".... "and tired!"

geh, their fighting makes me wanna scream...

half day, woohoo!

HALF DAY W()()T!!!! half days are clearly the best thing ever invented. i got out at 11 after doing nothing in school. went out and got quiznos (yum) then watched family guy off of tivo, and then went to emilys house and did nothing! what a productive day... anyywas, now im gonna actaully do some homework. what sucks today is that i just found out we have a essay due for language on tuesday, but im gonna be gone all weekend, and i hate doign homework when i travel, its more stressful. besides i take a lot of time on his essays, cuz hes a grading nazi... alrighty, homework, then music, then probably more computer time and then sleep.

quoteoftheday~ "what the eff is a seashell doing on your floor?"

mas

seems that i do have more to say... i love this song... even though i cant quite follow along with it totally, i can read, and for the most part understand the lyrics... (with the help de un dicionario :P)

"Ahora Quien"
-marc anthony

A quién van a engañar ahora tus brazos
A quién van a mentirle ahora tus labios
A quién vas a decirle ahora "te amo"
Y luego en el silencio le darás tu cuerpo
Detendrás el tiempo sobre la almohada
Pasarán mil horas en tu mirada
Sólo existirá la vida amándote
Ahora quién?

Y quién te escribirá poemas y cartas
Y quién te contará sus miedos y faltas
A quién le dejarás dormirse en tu espalda
Y luego en el silencio le dirás "te quiero"
Detendrás su aliento sobre tu cara
Perderá su rumbo en tu mirada
Y se le olvidará la vida amándote
Ahora quién?

Ahora quién si no soy yo
Me miro y lloro en el espejo y me siento estúpido
Ilógico, y luego te imagino toda regalando el olor de tu piel
Tus besos, tu sonrisa eterna y hasta el alma en un beso
En un beso va el alma
Y en mi alma está el beso que pudo ser

A quién le dejarás tu aroma en la cama?
A quién le quedará el recuerdo mañana?
A quién le pasarán las horas con calma?
Y luego en el silencio deseará tu cuerpo
Se detendrá el tiempo sobre su cara
Pasará mil horas en la ventana
Se le acabará la voz llamándote
Ahora quién?
Ahora quién?

Ahora quién si no soy yo?
Me miro y lloro en el espejo y me siento estúpido
Ilógico, y luego te imagino toda regalando el olor de tu piel
Tus besos, tu sonrisa eterna y hasta el alma en un beso
En un beso va el alma
En mi alma está el beso que pudo ser

For kicks imagine me busting out and singsing, "Me siento estúpido
Ilógico..."

okay i need to do homework, even though its an incredibly overated concept...

when will i get those blasted decorations up?

alrighty, movning completely on from yesterday. i failed my bio quiz today, que divertido... i have this song stuck in my head that goes, "eres estupido, illogico" and i dont remember any other words. i decided that my biggest worry right now is when im goign to have time to hang halloween decorations, i also decided that i have very misplaced priorities... and now im hard pressed to think of anything else worth mentioning. *thinks* nope thats really it, que short.

quoteoftheday~ "High five for Halloween decorations!!!"

Strike 2!

okay another post... even though i already posted today. see the problem with posting mad early in the mornign is that stuff happens in the day and that i now wanna talk about.

firstly, it has come to my attention that i might get more out of blogging than most. i feel the need to write about everyday, and its weird becasue i always hated diaries when i was little and have never kept one before, and i still wouldnt keep one, but this is in essence the same thing. Except everybody can read it. now though, the only ppl reading my blog contintuously will be my super cool sister and realy thats it. I'll prolly see annie and tiff drop by every once in a while to say hi, but thats about it. this doesnt really depress me, its just an observation, one among many, no more important than the rest, just the thought that came to me just now and i felt the need to post about...

whoa, thinking back on it, i have kept a diary, and keep it still, and oddly enough it too is online, and open for anyone to see and comment on... thats kinda wierd, i never really considered it a diary though becasue i wouldnt post everyday. and it not a blog. ive had it since the beginning of 8th grade, that seems so very long ago.


anyways, moving right along. i was having a pretty good day, then i read cobys blog. it came as a surprise, see, usually im not called an asshole, or that i make everyhting "fcuking trivial" (which is a euphemistic, or maybe its not euphemistic im not sure, way to say that i take everything that could possibly hold any importance and devalue it, dont that make me feel all warm inside...) before 9 in the morning. so yes my day was slightly dampered. i dont know what i did, and ive come to the conclusion that it matters very little. cameron said that it bothered him that i talked like he didnt matter or something along those lines. and coby said it bothers him when i say stuff like, "youre opinion counts very little in this matter" when i say stuff like that its a joke, and if you dont see it in a joking way than you really dont know me at all. i dont mean to say that you literally dont matter, i mean, come on, who would say that? what i dont understand, is that people can turn right around and say stuff that makes me feel like shit, when they just said it bothers them when i do it in a joking way. i never did that. i never thought to say somethighn just to make you feel crummy. its not very fair, or polite for that matter. but as i said it doesnt matter all that much, i should just stick with my own friends, it makes more sense. so yes, w()()t for my own freinds who are cool and who think more of me than to say shitty things.

so i wasnt all that happy going into third hour, but i wasnt exactly sad either. what made fourth hour bad was that i had to finish my math test 6 hour and i was completely unprepared. well i studied in ceramics (thank god for taht class!!!) and then went into math feeling almost sick. but then... (dun, dun, dun)... i realized that not only did i understand the stuff, but i had understood it on friday too, i had just thought that i was screwing it up. so yes, i handed it in with much confidence and am looking forward to when we get it back. w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! w**t! ("woot" is a swear! :P)

i have to go the chiropractor (sp?) today >X( ive never been and i would like to keep it that way. i dont want him hurting my back, and ppl ive talked say that it does hurt, so geh, on that.

i have a bio quiz tomorrow, double geh, but i'll study tonite and hopefully do alright. i also have a bio unit test, super geh, on friday. but the god of biology apparently shines down on me becasue i will be up at NAU, as stated in the earlier post. ( i keep wrting post, like toast, so it comes out poast.... que wierd) so i get a four day weekend, super w()()t! and i think that there is a half day this wednesday, what an awesome week!

thats all for today, special thanks to annie for co-founding (and by co-founding i mean she more founded them but whatever) "w()()t!" "w**t!" and "5+upid"

quoteoftheday~ "then we will eat the teachers" -annie
"Coby is a selfish bastard"- annie, as well. (gotta love her when she busts out a swear :P)

lost post... >X(

dammit! i just lost 20 minutes becuase i had a decently good post then lost it... que lastima!! okay the condensed version...

im in hisitry but in the librarby bloggin because regular hisrtoy ROCKS and ap is incredibly stupid

going up to nau and taking dance lessons... gonna make a fool of myself

not going to goldwater dance and not feeling guilty, w()()t!

myspace is a malignant tumor and even coby and kopas are getting sucked into its relm...

peeps rule and there are now ghost and pumpkin peeps

i still have dashboard conffesionals stuck in my head form yesterday

got 3 1/2 hours of sleep cuz i spent the ngiht at emilys. amazed myself that i was able to wake up at 530 and start telling emily what to write for her third lab evalutaion (hypertonic/hypotnic solutions, water potential, potatoes, and the membrane of dialysis bags, fun right?) that lab write up by the way took FOREVER... like 6 pages worth of junk! (emily and jen didnt go to sleep period, they were studying for HISTORY!)

thats about it, most of what i lost anyways.

quoteoftheday~"anyways, then i got mad at my dog, and decided not to talk to her the rest of the day... but then i forgave her so now we're good. "- Jen in her sleep deprived state.

dashboard confessionals makes you oddly sad and nostalgic... anyways no post b/c ive got a bio write up due... QUE DIVIERTIDO!!!

quoteoftheday~"and you're measuring your minutes by a clock thats blinking eights"

hello stranger

okay two things worth mentioning... i watched the monty python holy grail movie again, and you guys would be so proud of me because i got a bagillion (mock me not that i just made up a word...) more jokes. ive decided that monty python is one of those things that gets better with each viewing. but i still stand by the fact that the ending leaves you feeling like youve been 261'd, and if you have no idea what the term "261'd" means then you should listen to police scanners more often.

progressing to the second thing worth mentioning today, me, my sister, and my mom went to Razzmatazz (at least thats what i think the place was called) and this place is for home decor, i guess. anyways i really like the store, its got all this pretty junk that you dont really need but still really want. (i was suddenly hit with deja vu, and im not sure why...) anyways though, we bought this thing to hang above our pantry. its really pretty wood that has even prettier swirlies (what technical terms im using today) and it stained dark. its looks nice, but to give it added pasazz we firsted brushed over it to give it a more weathered look (removing some of the stain) then went back over it to with olive oil to make the wood more shiny and take away some of the dirt.

it wasnt a whole lot but i still love stuff like that. restoring old things. when i grow up id love to restore an old house. its been the dream for quite a while infact, i suppose this all kinda ties into my love for antiques. if i ever had the time id do resotration projects. a good while back i convined my mom to buy the cutest table phone. it was probably made in the 70s or 60s so its kinda ugly at the moment and not really an antique. it has all this brass on it, and the actaul phone has this very cheep-looking, sun-faded plastic all over it. the top of the table is covered in marble. whats great about the table is that it's a rodery (sp?) dial. someday, when i find the time im gonna repaint over the gross brass and paint first some nice color (not sure yet) then repaint over it black. the reason for this is that it has very pretty little flowers all around it. the black will not reach all of the crevices of the flowers, thus they will be outlined in whatever color i choose to be the first coat. the phone part is more tricky. i dont know what exactly im gonna do with the ugly plastic, but it has to go. maybe i can just unscrew it and the actaul metal body of the phone will still be there. maybe i'll have to find some spare parts, or i might have to replace the enitre receiver (though i'd prefer not to do that), either way, im gonna change it. after that there is the case of the marble. its very pretty marble and while ive always been more of a granit person myself, the grey marble will match nicely with the black outside. in the end i think it will be adorable because ive always wanted a rodery phone (remember my obsession with antiques). geh, restoration is the hobby that i simply dont have the time or money for. if i were ever into art and if i had more patients i think that i could really enjoy art restoration. itd be fun, and i love work where you can see progress and when its all finished and done you have a feeling of accomplishment. i love working with my hands. but alas, im not crazy about art, its nice and all, but i just cant see myself studying art when i leave for college. it worries me sometimes, i can only see myself doing one thing after/during college, but at the same time its one of those things that ppl always talk about then never do. or one of those things they do when they're fifty+. but i dont want to wait. i dont want to lose any of it because i waited too long. geh, i suppose.

time to go and do other stuff, not sure what yet, but i'll find something to do with myself im sure.

quoteoftheday~ "closing time, you dont have to go home, but you cant stay here"